Spartan Daily - Serving San Jose State University since 1934

Issue date: 2/7/08 Section: Opinion

Lindsay Bryant

Never tell people your best quality is that you're funny.

It only sets you up for a long list of disappointing quips to add to the semi-truthful impression of yourself to everyone else.

It doesn't matter how hilarious you think you are; there is always a time you will fail. Always.

Before I initiate my own biblically proportioned diatribe on the most entertaining, the most unfunny, and sometimes jokes that fall into both categories … the most incriminating humor, saved for late night reminiscing, is in the "almost-famous" joke.

It goes something like this:

You begin with the best intentions; the joke is ready, in your brain, on the edge of your lips, just begging to be told.

It's usually stolen from Dave Chappelle or "Airplane" or an old Chevy Chase movie.

Everything is going as planned, the timing is spot on, your audience is focused and awaiting the treasured punch line.

And then, like your first French kiss, you blow it.

Saliva slaps around the corners of your mouth, and a little dribbles down your chin.

You do that weird "ay ya ya ya" thing that people do when they confuse syllables in words such as "cinnamon" or "particularly" too quickly.

You screwed up the punch line. It's buried underneath "I'm sorry" and "Wait, wait, wait, I know it."

But you can't go back now. The deed is done. The bun is in the oven. Another one bites the dust. Every dog has his day. Every rose has its thorn … it's all irrecoverably irreconcilably irreversible.

This almost-famous-leading-to-undeniable-ridicule happens to me every so often.

I've been told I'm funnier on paper.

And so, I thought at 4 a.m., as the primaries for the most important election in my 21 years fit themselves into every molecule in my brain, as the war continues, as I got a call and found out my best friend's dad died last Tuesday, as I felt far from home, and at times far from God, I needed humor.

Just one good joke. One tear-jerking uncontrollable giggle. One that you remember because your jaw hurt and your side ached.

And that's just how life happens, that simple, that incandescent glow of a moment in time when you can smile and take a break, not from life, but from the problems that go with it.

I then found myself making a list in front of a muted version of "Top Gun," airing again in the early morning hours.

Continued...

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